Adoption

Children whose biologic parents have had their rights terminated are considered free to be adopted. These are usually children in the foster care system. Thousands of children are adopted each year from foster care, and many of the adoptive parents receive financial support to help cover the costs of the children's medical or special education needs (adoption assistance or subsidies).

Children can be adopted independently or privately, that is, a public agency is not involved in arranging the adoption. In these adoptions, biologic parents can use a private adoption agency to place a newborn with an adoptive family. Often, the adoptive family pays thousands of dollars to the private agency for legal services and medical support for the biologic parents. At times, a private lawyer, rather than an agency, makes these arrangements.

Another type of private adoption can occur when a single parent marries or commits to a partner. Someone who marries a person who has a child does not automatically become the parent of that child. A child who does not have a second biologic parent can be adopted by the new spouse or partner.

Another option is adoption of a child from a different country. Families usually use an adoption agency based in their own country to arrange the adoption or use agencies or other professionals based in the child's birth country to make arrangements.

All adoptions from another country must be validated by a court of law in that country. In the United States, although such adoption is valid, families often choose to also go through an adoption process in the United States to avoid future challenges to the adoption.

Most children who have been adopted, including those previously in foster care or foreign orphanages, adjust well and develop few problems. However, as children age, they may develop feelings of rejection because they were given up by their birth family. During adolescence and young adulthood, in particular, people who have been adopted may be very curious about their birth parents, even if they do not ask about them. Some people seek information about, or seek out, their birth parents, and some birth parents seek out their birth children.

Not telling children they were adopted can hurt them later. It is best if this information is never considered a secret but is just considered part of the family history. If asked, adoptive parents should tell the child about the birth parents in a comforting manner. For example, if the child was abused or neglected, adoptive parents can say the child was removed because the birth parent could not provide proper care. Alternatively, adoptive parents may say that the birth parent was not able to care for the child and gave the child to the adoptive parents so they could love and take care of him or her.

Children need reassurance that they are loved and always will be loved. If children have contact with their birth families, it helps for parents to tell the children that two sets of parents love them.

If birth parents request anonymity, there is controversy about whether children should be able to find information about them. In the United States, some states provide a website for birth parents and children to post their identity. If both do so, then they will be placed in touch with each other. Contact cannot be initiated unless both parties agree. Widely available genetic testing now facilitates people's ability to find blood relatives they were unaware of.

Sometimes adoptive parents connect with birth parents. The parties may already be related in some way. For example, a stepparent can adopt a spouse's biologic child or grandparents can adopt their grandchildren. In other cases, parents may connect through word of mouth or advertisements.